November 2010
I can't wait until school tomorrow. . .
That’s not true at all. I am dreading tomorrow.
I hate riding the bus in the morning. I don’t know why, but I do.
I have a oral Spanish test tomorrow. So basically I get to watch my teacher fail me. That should be fun.
Then I have PE which is just… No.
I have to deal with morons in my math class, who literally have the maturity of 5th graders. Why am I being forced to repeat...
Reblog if you had a terrible halloween
—crashandburn:
lolitahavok:
eh. kind of
the fucking worst
I stayed home all night and spent most of the day crying. So great.
flutterpast-deactivated20111104 asked: holy crap, you are so pretty.
i love your jeansssss <3
i wish i could rock jeans with holes :b lol
i love your jeansssss <3
i wish i could rock jeans with holes :b lol
People say they cut when they're numb. . .
I cut to make myself numb.
Hmm I think my brain might be more fucked up then I originally thought.
I feel like such a bitch for making my mom choose...
But she knows that I want nothing to do with him, yet she is still trying to force him on to me. I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want him in my life. I know how her relationships work. She gets completely caught up in them and then they just suddenly end, and I don’t want in the middle of that.
And she obviously doesn’t realize how happy I was when they “broke...
I want to cut my hair. . .
But I don’t know what to do. It’s been the same for like 3 years. Ugh. Fuck this.
all-the-elves-deactivated201106 asked: I care.
I know this won't do much, but I hope that whatever is going on gets better soon.
Stay strong, dear. <3
I know this won't do much, but I hope that whatever is going on gets better soon.
Stay strong, dear. <3
I can't stop crying.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I wish there was someone who cared.
I'm sorry.
I didn’t screw up everything on purpose. I’m making my family miserable. I can’t help it. They’d all be better off without me.
October 2010
You are home alone, and you hear on the news about...
rainbowsprinklesndiamondpills:
effingzombie:
i don’t get it.. :|
So, its me? LOL
Ohhh so he’s behind me…
2 tags
2 years ago today. . .
My bestfriend told my parents I cut. 2 years ago today she completely destroyed our friendship. Best friends for 7 years and that is how it ended. The worst part is, she still denies that she told them. It’s sad, she still says we’ve been bestfriends for 9 years. We haven’t. It lasted 7. Now I don’t know what we are.
Happy Halloween = /
I'm spending Halloween. . .
At home alone watching SVU all night.
And then Monday I’ll get to here about how great everyone’s night was.
Wonderful.
Reblog if this is your 1st Halloween on Tumblr.
creature-of-the-night:
My Dad told me he wouldn't by groceries. . .
Until I started helping out around the house. So basically unless I somehow find time to clean the house, do dishes, do laundry, and do anything else he may need done, I won’t be able to eat. We literally have no food. Everything we do have has gone bad. And I don’t think he understands that I honestly don’t have time. Between school and homework and my barely existing social...
Did Limewire get shut down!?!?!?
Because if it did I think I will die. I can’t afford to buy all my music.
I want to go die. . .
But instead I’m going to write an essay for English. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it before I start crying again. I don’t think that will happen though. But I managed to only cut once today, I guess that is a good thing.
alexsidjwf-deactivated20110708 asked: you're welcome :)
Watching Criminal Minds
Kayla: There's to much death in this.
Me: You think?? It's a show about murder!
My mom is in the hospital. . . .
She “fell.” I don’t know what that means.
All I know is that I can’t handle my life anymore. I want to die now.
I don't know why I keep holding on.
noneofyourscars:
I know that one day soon the number of days is going to go back to 0. So what’s the point in even fucking trying? The strangest thing is that I’m so content with my life at the moment. But still, I sat here for five minutes with a razor in my hand, just daring myself. I won’t do it tonight, I can’t do that to my dad when he’s been so trusting of me. But I know it’ll happen...
1 tag
So I told my dad to go to hell. . .
And he got really pissed and now he isn’t letting me come home. So I’m staying at my moms house. But Kayla’s staying the night, so I don’t mind.
I just wish my life could be stable again.
My family is killing me. . .
alexsidjwf-deactivated20110708 asked: you're beautiful. i love your hair. i don't think you're fat. you're seriously beautiful. just thought i'd let you know. sorry if i come off as a creeper.
I can't stand my voice
I don’t really notice it when I am talking, but in recordings I sound so terrible. I know everyone says that but it is so true.
Just one more thing to hate about myself.
2 tags
I need to cut.
Really bad. I am having a terrible night. I feel like shit. Nothing sounds better then taking a blade to my arm. But I refuse to cut my arm again. It is way to stressful to try and hide it. So that leaves me with my legs. I don’t really like cutting my legs anymore. It just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t give me the same release that it used to. Now it is just annoying. So...
My Dad is acting really strange. . .
And no his usual “Oh god he is such a freak.” Like full out strange. Like something really weird is going on with him.
It’s scaring me.
I wish my parents would stop pointing out that I...
They say it as if I don’t already know. Believe me I know. I’ve been stressing out about it for 2 weeks. But there’s really not much I can do. This quarter is almost over. I’m screwed. I’m not failing because I can’t do the work.
I’m failing because I keep missing school. I’m missing school because I keep having anxiety attacks. I have anxiety ...
I wish my parents would stop pointing out that I...
They say it as if I don’t already know. Believe me I know. I’ve been stressing out about it for 2 weeks. But there’s really not much I can do. This quarter is almost over. I’m screwed. I’m not failing because I can’t do the work.
I’m failing because I keep missing school. I’m missing school because I keep having anxiety attacks. I have anxiety...
So apparently I complain to much about being fat?
Ok so I’m talking to Kayla and she asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was being a fatass. Which is true. Then she asked my how and I told her I was eating. Then she starts going on this long ass rant about how I complain to much and it is getting old and blah blah blah.
Well first she doesn’t have to listen. She can tell me to shut up. I don’t think I do it that much....
I feel so fat right now. I've ate to much today.
I had a chocolate chip pancake this morning. And 3 English muffins. Then another English muffin with eggs.
No wonder I am so overweight. I eat twice as much as I should. I’m going to be fat forever. Therefore I will be ugly forever. I really hate it. I really really hate it.
500 days of summer
reblob:
dam look at that fine piece of ass
hi tom im summer i dont believe in luv wanna sing or something
i liek you
wanna fuck in the shower
awe yeahhh
i dont liek you
i am sad
hi im ugly
wanna get coffee
the end
I love this movie…
“Gays and lesbians are not allowed to legally marry. Gays and lesbians are not...”
– Dorothy Surrenders: Make it a better place (via caseylau5er)
I don't look completely hideous today
Strange.
I'm doing this all right now. . .
1) Lynn…I actually like my middle name. I like the way it is spelled. But I think it sounds southern when combined with my first name.
2) I have my ears pierced and my cartilage…but other then that I don’t have anything. I want a tattoo on my wrist and I want to get my nose pierced and somewhere on my lip.
3) Criminal Minds. That show is amazing. I also really like SVU and...
I went 11 days without cutting. . .
Then I gave in. And I don’t regret it.
23099.) Me and my best friend are super close. A...
2 tags
I feel like cutting. . .
I’m not upset though. It’s nothing like that.
I’m bored so I was watching SI videos on Youtube. I know they’re triggering, but I do it anyway. I don’t do it to get triggered. At least I don’t think that’s why I do it. But when I watch those I see all the cuts and the blood and the scars, and I want it. I want to watch the blood poor out of my cuts. I want...
Me and my scars, we're both fading.
I wonder what it's like to. . .
Not be ugly. Not be fat. Not have scars. Not hate living. Not hate myself.
queenfaggot:
I want to cut. I’m a piece of shit who can’t do anything right.
